Quit

So I've decided to quit smoking.

I'm coming up on 48 hours without a cigarette, with help from the patch. It's weird, but it's both hard and easy at the same time. I get these little triggers all the time as I go through my day. I eat, I drive down a certain road, I make a hot cup of coffee, and I want to smoke. It's like a little lightning bolt hits my brain and for a few seconds I can't think about anything but how much I really want that cigarette.

Then it passes, and I'm guessing that's due to the patch.

I initially wanted to quit starting New Year's Day. I made it about 6 hours going cold turkey before the Weirdo told me to just go get a pack. I was miserable, jittery, and not really in much of a mood to be alive.

The patch seems to take just enough of an edge off to make it bearbale. I still want to smoke at certain moments, but because this time I'm quitting for me, quitting because I want to quit, I get through those moments.

Tonight has kinda been one giant moment of wanting to smoke. We're having some rare snow and ice in the Atlanta area, and I'm here at work. It's been stressful, to put it lightly. This is probably the most stress I've had since starting on the patch, and I'm kinda proud of myself. I was tempted a couple times to rip the damn patch off and sprint into the first ice-covered gas station I could find that sold Marlboros.

Maybe I'm just writing this solely to encourage myself, pat myself on the back for not breaking down and lighting up, but if I need to toot my own horn all day to stay off cigarettes then so be it.

Food is already starting to taste better.